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Mary Schmid, Business Coach

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Unplug From Silence...Not Speaking You

October/November 2011

"Children make you want to start life over." - Muhammad Ali
It has been a month since we last connected and it has been a month of pure indulgence and introspection.  The indulgence being weekly time with my new Grandson Axel.  When I  had my baby, now mother Jana,  I  was a working Mom with my new infant, and it was all about how does she fit into this career ladder I am trying so hard to accomplish?  Trying to get it all right, making sure everyone was happy, and I now realize that I missed the boat.  What boat did I miss?  The quiet moments that I now treasure, of holding Axel, listening to him breathe, silence, calm, innocence, and feeling that warmth in my skin of holding something so fragile yet so strong.

So the story goes, I was getting ready to leave for my Mastermind group out in California, when I got a call from my daughter that she was in labor. I talked with my daumary-and-axelghter on the phone and waved to her as she was in labor from the car window and off I went.  A few days later I met my newest family member,  Axel, “meaning the peace maker.”  I never knew until that moment until I grabbed my daughter and we embraced and no words needed to be spoken.  Pure love, understanding, and connection with motherhood, womanhood, and the passage of time.  Something we all belong to.

As I am holding Axel my peaceful mind wanders to what would he be saying if he could talk right now.  Silent voices, words unspoken:  we  all have them but ours are not of the innocence of a baby. Thoughts as I wish I would have said that or I wish I would not have said that.

What are the thoughts that run through your mind about speaking for yourself?
What I have to say is not important
It has been said before so why should I say it again 
Who am I to talk about this 
No one really cares about what I have to say 
No none will really listen to me
Why should I have to say things that are so obvious
It is not kind to speak your mind 
It is just my opinion and that does not really count
I really do not know what to say How do I put words to this experience

Do you get the theme?
A word that is not spoken stays within us forever.  And that which in not spoken does not allow others into our world .. it robs them of knowing us and what they can gain from our words and our wisdom.

One of my lessons learned is that my voice counts. No matter what the circumstance, business, professional or personal, my word and what I have to say counts.

This month’s challenge is to get real with yourself, your business, and you loved ones and notice:
What beliefs do you harbor that stops you short of letting yourself and your lovely words be heard?
Where does your voice count?
Where are you holding back?
What words do to you speak?
What words do you want to speak and hold back on speaking?
What is the intention of speaking from your heart?

Somewhere hidden is the belief that children are meant to be seen and not heard and as adults we carry that forward.  And now we are adults and can choose to let our voice be heard.  What is your choice?